Revenge of the Humors

You might recall from history class that certain eras in European history were less than sanitary. Lately I’m obsessed with Versailles and the court of Louis XIV. The court apparently bathed very little because they found the opening of the pores when wet to be a detriment, especially considering the safety of the water itself.

Revenge of the Humors – Louis XIV trying to remain in balance.

The water contained micro-organisms that could make a person deathly ill. If you think of the costumes of this time you’ll remember that powder wigs were all the rage.

Do I look fab?

If we think of modern-day dry shampoo being powdered talc, it makes sense that these dirty folks would opt for other ways to cleanse. Powders clean us without that filthy water.

At the time of Louis XIV people washed their hands with alcohol upon rising in the morning.

Have us a sip?

Alcohol was actually a drink of choice in the past because it was safer to drink than plain water. Alcohol is a disinfectant. I keep rubbing alcohol and vinegar in spray bottles in my house and use them for everything. I also use bentonite clay and activated charcoal powder a lot for their propensity to bind to all of the harmful chemicals that we come into contact with. See…no water!

Just now I did a foot soak with bentonite clay and red wine vinegar. Then I sprayed myself down with red wine vinegar and threw some clean clothes on. It felt amazing. This was just an experiment. Vinegar is amazing for the skin. It alkalizes the skin. This is what a toner is, if you didn’t know. You can use vinegar as a face toner after cleansing and as a hair rinse to remove residue. Sometimes I’ll do a water-less face wash at night too. I just smear coconut oil all over my face and whipe it off with a paper towel. Voila! Like attracts like. It binds to the bad oil and nourishes my skin with it’s richness. I feel so amazing!

I’m doing a detox right now and have been documenting the stages on here. You can get a lot of toxins out of the body through the feet. This is probably why my foot soak felt so amazing just now. The bentonite clay draws out toxins the same way that Epsom or Himalayan salt would. It’s even more effective. It also contains trace minerals. People do face masks with bentonite clay and vinegar. I figured I’d do the face mask on my feet and just made a sludge with the clay and vinegar. I also threw in some Himalayan sea salt. Definitely feel rejuvenated post-soak.

Warning: If you do this, do not let the bentonite clay go down the drain because it will clog it. Then you’ll try throwing Draino, the most toxic substance known to man, down after to chase it and the bentonite clay will neutralize the Draino and expand while absorbing it. You’ll end up with a major plumbing problem.

Back to balancing the humors/cleaning and detoxing without water…

Another really gross way to detox is by oil pulling. You put your oil type of choice (usually coconut oil) in your mouth and swish it around. It pulls toxins out of your cheeks and teeth. I like adding oil of oregano and activated charcoal. The oil of oregano freshens the mouth and kills micro-organisms. The activated charcoal binds to toxins. This makes me feel better about them swishing around in my mouth for 20 minutes. I want to make sure that they don’t go back into my body so I feel better that they are killed in my mouth and adsorbed by the charcoal. After 20 minutes I spit the nasty black mixture into a bag and throw it in the trash (again not down the drain). Then I swish with water and sea salt to draw out any remaining crud and rinse. Oil pulling makes a HUGE difference in the cleanliness of the mouth. It can even clear out cavities to prevent them from getting worse. It majorly whitens the teeth. You just have to be aware that the activated charcoal can stain your mouth for a bit. You can put Vaseline on your lips before starting the swish to minimize temporary staining. I love to floss post oil pulling. I can feel the gritty activated charcoal between my teeth grabbing up all of the icky stuff. Then I swish again with the salt water. You should always do mouthwash of some sort after flossing. The bacteria that you stir up is dangerous if you swallow it. It’s best to oil pull right when you wake up to get all of that bacteria out before you eat anything. Unfortunately oil pulling is not fun at all. It’s miserable the whole time. I’m lazy about doing it lately.

What I’ve learned about the humors is that it was believed by the ancient Greeks and into the era of Louis XIV that people are predisposed to certain constitutions. There were elements that one could come into contact with that were thought to throw off the humors. This would lead to malaise and behavioral problems.

Cool Old School and Eastern Humor Charts

Beyond humors, there are the 8 constitutions that most acupuncturists will identify. They might not tell you what yours is, but chances are that your care plan is based on one of these 8 constitutions. And you should learn what yours is and adjust your diet to live a more vital life. My constitution is weak kidneys and chicken and alcohol are pretty much lethal for me. Still, that’s all I ingested this spring. Probably had a lot to do with my downfall but that’s another blog.

Try to look at the 8 types below and discern, possibly based on your history of issues with organs or sensitivity to food, to find out what constitution you are. Take note of some foods that are naturally agreeable for you. Have you noticed that you feel more vital when you’ve done certain health plans in the past? Diets are dependent on the individual. I do not believe that there is one cut and dried solution to health. Your food prescription is like any other medicine. Some people take insulin and some people take mood stabilizers. These are both “medicine” but are completely different from one another. Food is the same. You need to figure out what foods will benefit your body to live the most vital life possible. This should be a priority. Below I have posted the 8 constitutions and their food prescriptions.


If you find humors to be as intriguing as I do, below I have posted juicy article from the creative commons. Enjoy!

The 4 Humors and Erythrocyte Sedimentation: The Most Influential Observation in Medical History

Full-text PDF Download Here